Photo Credit: iamwahid
Tomorrow is my birthday & I will turn 40. I really don’t have any issues with turning 40…except that I had set a goal that I haven’t achieved & the deadline was my 40th birthday. I don’t typically set specific goals, so not achieving this is a bit frustrating for me.
But first, here is some backstory. I’m just gonna lay it out there: In the last 5 years, my husband & I have lost approximately $500,000. I’ll give you a minute to let that sink in. (Take all the time you need.)
This wasn’t through any fault of our own, since it’s no secret that the economy & housing market have been terrible the last few years. My husband works for a luxury home builder so we’ve been hit hard like anyone who makes a living in the real estate industry. We did everything ”right” according to financial experts; in fact, we had a savings account that was 1 year of my husband’s net salary. I don’t think anyone could have predicted how badly things would turn.
Please don’t mistake this for whining, because I’m not; my husband is still employed & our family is doing fine. For that I am grateful beyond measure.
It should be said that we didn’t lose that much money in actual cash, but rather from our total net worth. Some of it was cash, but most of it was equity in our home & our retirement portfolio. As I’ve stated before, imaginary money is just that…money that isn’t cold, hard cash. Regardless…losing that kind of net worth is a tough pill to swallow.
Which brings me back to my goal I set for turning 40. When I was pregnant with my daughter & getting ready to stop working outside the home, I told my husband & our financial planner that I wanted us to be millionaires by the time we were 40. Again, I didn’t mean we would have a million dollars in cash that we could pile up & roll around in. Rather, I wanted our net worth to be in the seven figures. And 5 years ago, we were on track for making that happen (& perhaps happen a few years early).
You may be reading this & thinking “That’s a pretty materialistic goal, Heather.” Trust me when I say, this goal wasn’t about keeping up with the Joneses, or driving a luxury vehicle, or owning a private jet. To me, having a net worth north of seven figures was about security. It was about the possibility of retiring early, of traveling more, of having more quality time together as a family. Of working because we wanted to, not because we had to. It was a dream of how I wanted our family to live our life.
And it didn’t happen. Not by a long shot. It’s been frustrating & humbling & challenging all at the same time. It’s made me rethink how I want our family to live. It’s made me question what’s important to me. It’s made me realize that achieving a goal isn’t what life is about (it’s about getting out there & living!).
So tomorrow I will turn 40 & I will not be a millionaire. I’m OK with that. I will celebrate with a dinner out (using a Restaurant.com voucher!) & a Costco birthday cake surrounded by loved ones. I am blessed.
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Heather, you ARE blessed! Thank you for your honesty – I can only imagine this wasn’t an easy post to write. Remember that our lives have seasons to them, too – and this may well be that for your family – a season. I hope that you will have a wonderful birthday tomorrow remembering where you are blessed and have been successful. Hugs to you and best wishes for the year (and decade!) ahead.
Angela, you’re so sweet. Thanks so much!
Part of the joy of turning 40 is having the wisdom of all those years under your belt. Your priorities seem right in order. Kudos (and Happy Birthday!)
Stacy, isn’t that the truth? I remember being glad to leave my 20s because of all the dumb stuff I did. Age brings contentment, I think.
Regardless of losing so much net worth, you are still an inspiration!!! Way to take it in stride and to count your blessings!
Carol, you’re so sweet! You inspire me every day!
Heather. You’re one of my favorite people on this earth. Your husband and daughter and you are a blessing to this planet. I appreciate your mind set and how family oriented you are. Life is busy and it would be fun to do more together but it’s always a quick catch up between times. You guys have done amazing raising your cute little bug and thinking about the future. I am grateful for the fun ideas you have and for your influence on my family. The girls go ape over ALL your ideas! Happy 40th!! May the next 40 be filled with life, love and luck!!
Janelle, you know we feel the same about you guys! We must get the girls together again soon & we can chat over coffee!
Heather, you are so amazing! I think it was a great goal to start and I am sure you are a lot closer to your goal than you would have been had you not started that goal at all. Thanks for your honesty and inspiration. Hey, I say if you are gonna dream ya might as well dream big! I love your goal.
I hope you have a HAPPY BIRTHDAY – 40 is a big one!
Karrie, thanks so much! You are always so inspiring; I hope to see you again soon!
You’re rich with love, happiness, and wisdom. I think that’s more important, in the long run! Happy birthday!
Kimmy, you are too kind. Thanks for the compliment!
Oh, Heather – while I’m sorry that you didn’t meet your goal, I’m so glad that you shared the goal (and it’s failure) with us. I hope you have a wonderful birthday!
Judie, thanks for your kind words. I was worried people may not get the intention behind this posting, but it appears everyone does. Cheers to you!
Heather, firstly Happy Birthday! Welcome to the decade of awesomeness called your 40′s. I too am a proud member! Sharing your story with us takes guts, and shows your wisdom and your determination.
We too had a similar type of “loss” and what we’ve learned is that you have to find the positive side in everything. It sounds like you are doing that, and your life will be richer and happier because of that.
Happy Birthday – and here is to reaching all the dreams in your heart!
Kelli, agreed…everyone should reach for their dreams!